This is for all the wives out there, for future wives, army wives and civilian wives alike! This advice can apply TO ALL MARRIAGES!

I’ve been involved with the MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) chapter at Fort Irwin for 3 years and today was one of my favorite days. We discussed marriage with a soldier, at home and during deployments.

Chaplain May began by telling us a man’s needs:

1. Food
2. Sleep
3. Lovin’ (respect)

Our husbands often feel that their “home” is not theirs, but their wives’. They come home feeling powerless.

The best thing for your husband (and your children) is to create a peaceful home environment with predictability and regularity:

1. Have a predictable routine that your husband knows and expects. He will be able to fall into the routine easier this way.
2. Allow your husband to come home and quietly reintegrate. Let him shower, unwind, read the paper etc. before unloading the days’ news onto him.
3. DO NOT ask your husband to take over as soon as he gets home or yell at him about your stresses!
4. After dinner, sit down and connect with your spouse. This should be an adults only time, so establish boundaries with the kids early (movie time?). And, if during this time, you engage in an argument, do it as nicely as possible. It’s healthy for your kids to see constructive arguments from time to time. It teaches them what it means to be a husband/wife/friend.
5. DO NOT use the word divorce, or similar words, as a manipulation tool.
6. Establish boundaries with each other (emails, blackberries, iphones, cell phones, texting, etc.)

I found ALL of his advice useful! He also stated a fact that I found quiet interesting….

The same part of the brain that is stimulated during war/combat, also becomes stimulated during lovin. Which explains, why our soldiers often crave deployments. It’s lovin without the foreplay

Anyways, if you’ve made it this far in my post, thanks for reading! I’m always on the hunt for useful marriage info!

It’s difficult balancing motherhood/the army/marriage/sex/crafts